Good Morning Gotham
by Jack Wong
Summary: A TV show with an anti-Batman slant gets a live call from the Bat himself.


It was in the middle of a feature on Good Morning Gotham, where the show's usual anti-Batman stance was on full display. The low-level criminal being interviewed, who had requested that he not be named for fear of retribution, had sustained multiple injuries in an encounter with the caped crusader, and was spilling his guts about the ordeal in the studio. His face was blurred on the telecast.

His story was one that engendered sympathy – he had two kids and was trying to get by, keeping lookout while his friends robbed a diamond store in North Gotham. He was looking for that hard-to-find real job but needed to feed his family during the search, which wasn't turning up much. He was in the wrong that day, and he knew it, but he wasn't expecting what had happened next.

Jail, he thought, would be the worst that could happen; he had been there before, and was prepared to pay for his crime. But instead of handcuffs and being led to a cell, he was thrown into the street and was hit by a car. Broken bones were what he got, a disfigured face that would never heal; he, a criminal, was turned in an instant into a victim, and by the man the host, Federico Franco, was constantly railing against in his hour-long morning show.

Something about this broke the camel's back. In the middle of the interview, someone rushed from the side of the stage and whispered something in Federico's ear – he smiled. "Ladies and gentlemen," he said to his audience, "we have Batman on the line."

"Hello Federico," a dark voice said. "Big fan."

"Batman, good to have you on the show." Federico was smiling, knowing that it was a prank caller; this had happened before.

"Tanner," the voice said, "why don't you tell them why I threw you in the street."

The criminal looked this way and that, and started shaking – Federico looked on, suddenly very interested. Tanner Grey had not been named; he had also never expected to have someone challenge his story.

"I'm waiting," the voice said.

"I told you," Tanner said. "I told the truth."

"This man you're interviewing, Federico. He doesn't have kids." The voice paused. "And you know that."

Federico laughed, and looked to the camera, then back to the speaker above where the voice was coming out of.

"He was holding a little girl hostage on the sidewalk, holding a gun to her head, and after I disarmed him he literally tried to toss her into traffic." Tanner stood, and the policeman on stage right entered the frame to re-handcuff him. "I caught her. She was crying," the voice said, "she's going to be traumatized for life. I wanted Tanner here to feel her pain."

Once the criminal was off the set, Federico found himself staring at the speaker, talking with what might well be the true dark knight himself.

"You tell lies, Federico."

The host nervously laughed and looked out to his audience. "So you're saying that the violence you inflict on people is always warranted, then."

"I said what I said. You're a liar."

"How so?" Federico asked. "And why am I on trial here? I should be asking the questions."

There was a pause. "Shoot," the voice said.

"How do we know you're the real Batman?"

There was a chuckle, like Federico had said something meaningless. "Next question."

"…why do you run around in a suit?" Federico asked, looking for laughs.

"Why do you go on TV with those horrible ties?" the voice responded. The audience found this humorous – Federico was losing them. "Ask me something real," Batman said.

"What does it feel like to break someone's face?" Federico asked, silencing the crowd.

"It hurts your knuckles," Batman responded. "And I wouldn't say it's fun." There was a pause. "This is your chance, Feds," the voice said. "You say a lot of bad things about me. Ask me a question."

Federico found his mouth hanging open.

"I do good in this city," the voice said.

"You hurt this city," Federico replied.

"How?" Batman challenged, and Federico went into one of his patented tirades.

"You break bones. You end lives," he said, to no response. "These are people."

Batman sighed. "When you become a criminal in this city, you take that risk."

"How can you-"

"Just like your brother took that risk."

Federico turned red in the face. "Don't bring my brother into this!"

"I don't remember what happened," Batman said, "but I looked up his case. He was a kidnapper." Federico tried to shake it off. "He hurt people too."

"This isn't about my brother!" Federico yelled. The audience was dead silent by now.

"What is this about?" Batman asked.

"It's about justice," Feds said.

"And what about justice."

"Who do you answer to, huh? Who tells you what justice is?"

Silence. It was ten seconds before an answer.

"Crime dropped when I started making my rounds," the voice said. "Things got better for the citizens of Gotham."

"Not for-"

"For the average citizen," Batman said. "For the criminals, things got worse. I will give you that. But tell me, Federico. Tell the city that they didn't deserve it."

Feds was stunned into silence.

"Homicide rates in Gotham were the highest in the nation when I first went out," Batman said. "Now they've leveled off. Theft has gone down tenfold. Tell your audience that they should be even more at risk than they are."

The studio was deathly quiet.

"Tell them they deserve to have their cars stolen. Tell them they deserve to be robbed at stoplights. Tell them, Federico." Pause. "I want to hear you say it."

Federico stumbled for something to say. "What about the supervillains?" he asked. "What do you say about them?"

"Those people don't affect the population," Batman said. "They watch us on TV."

Feds smiled. "What about the time the Joker poisoned the reservoir?"

"Who gave the city the antidote," Batman asked. "Tell them, Federico."

Cornered, Feds turned to the cameras. "Let's cut to commercial," he said.

"I'm going to hang up if you do that," Batman said. Federico stared at the speaker. "These are the highest ratings you're ever going to get, Feds." The host scratched his hairline.

"Okay, no commercial," he said. "What do you want?"

"Citizens of Gotham," Batman said. "My methods may leave a path of destruction. I may not always do the right thing. But when I make those bad decisions, it's because I'm human," he said. "Just like you.

"And to answer your question, Federico, I don't see you going out in a suit. You wouldn't do what I do, because you spend your time doing too much cocaine." Batman paused as Federico's mouth opened wide. "And those of you with similar vices, you wouldn't be out there either. And I know that is almost all of you.

"But I do it for those few, those few that are pure of heart. I do it for the children, and I do it for your better sides; I do it because I want the best for the city. My city."

"And who are you to decide what's best for the city?" Federico yelled. "Who are you to be the hero?"

There was a pause. "I may not be a perfect steward of Gotham," Batman said, "but I'm the one you've got. The day I am no longer beneficial to this city I will retire. Until that day, I will fight on, even if it is only my fight."

"But what-"

"You know, Federico," Batman said. "You know that my justice is better than no justice at all."

Federico Franco, red in the face and defeated, wished with all his heart that Batman would hang up. It must have worked; the click sounded out into a room that was stunned.

Then, a clap.

Slowly more hands began slapping together, until the studio was full of applause. Federico Franco had been beaten at his own game.

"Cut to commercial," he said to the camera. "Now."


End file.
